小铁锤的故事续写


篇一:《续写小故事》

《续写小故事》的教学设计

教学目标

1、 通过例文的学习,使学生明确什么是续写以及如何续写。

2、 能根据提供的材料,把自己想象的内容有条理地写下来,并学会恰当地刻画人物的神态、语言、内心活动等。

3、 鼓励学生大胆想象,启发学生多向思维,培养学生想象力和创造力。

教学重难点

1、 想象要合理,要把给定的材料与自己续写的部分“完美”地连接起来。

2、 续写时要与给定的材料保持内在的统一。

教学过程

一、故事引入,激发说的欲望。明确习作主题

1、 师讲一个比较好笑的励志小故事。同学们都喜欢听故事,今天,我们就利用这节课来讲一个发生在同学们身边的事。刚才是老师讲同学们听,而接下来时间呢,这个故事需要你们跟老师一起来完成。今天我们要来续写小故事。(出示课题),什么是续写呢?要注意些什么呢?(出示课件)好,下面请同学闭上眼睛,一边听故事,一边去想象故事的情节。

2、 教师讲《在公共汽车上》的开头部分,学生闭上眼睛,一边听,一边想象故事的情节。

3、 教师讲完开头,指名说说自己想到了什么。想到什么说什么,没有特定答案

二、讨论交流,设计细节描写,激发创新意识

1、 刚才同学们地想象十分合理。下面再请同学们根据刚才自己设计的情节细致地想想“我”、“周围”的人会说些什么,做些什么?

2、 同桌讨论,师部分参与指导

3、 指名说说细节,全班交流评议。

三、鉴赏例文,探讨表达方法

1、 下面请同学看看例文,读一读,思考以下问题:(出示课件)

2、 分组学习例文,谈谈读后收获

3、 集体交流

4、 小结:这是一位同学根据老师提供的开头完成的一片续写。小作者结合自己的生活体验,合理地展开想象,尤其是冲突发生后,车上的人不同的表现被小作者想象得合情合理,描写地细致入微。(课件出示:想象合理:描写细致)

四、提供材料,情景设置,拓展习作思路

1、 出示供续写材料

2、 按兴趣分组,自主选择材料,展开合理想象,进行评比。

导语:请同学们认真看看这三个开头,你最喜欢完成哪一个就选择哪一个,选择相同的同学可以结合成一个学习小组,并推选一名组长。可以用自己喜欢的方式来展示自己的作品,如:表演小品,续编故事。给自己的组取个响亮的名字。

3、 小组合作,完成学习

(讨论内容:幻灯片出示)

4、 全班交流,进行汇报。

(1)刚才在组长的带领下,讨论十分热烈,那么到底哪一组表现的更加出色些呢,让我们拭目以待。哪一组最先闪亮登场呢?

其他小组要认真看,仔细听,看看谁的描述最精彩,谁的表演最出色,谁的语言最感人,谁的感情最投入,哪一组设计最合理,哪一组会获得最佳团队奖?

(2)评议,颁奖

5、为自己创编的故事取一个合适的题目。(可以从时间、地点、事件、中心等不同方

面设计)

鼓励学生别出心载

五、自主习作

1、 刚才同学们讲得精彩,演得出色,取得标题也独具匠心,下面请同学们快快挥动

你手中的小笔杆,把故事写下来吧!

2、 生起草,师巡视。

篇二:《故事续写》

Time: 2015/11/28 10: 25- 11:48

The little man came up to me as I was about to enter the telephone box, and asked me whether I had a match.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I don’t smoke, so I haven’t any. You had better ask someone else.”

He looked rather disappointed, hesitated, and then turned away. I watched him walk slowly down the street before I picked up the telephone directory to look up the number I meant to dial.

I am not used to a public call box so, at my first attempt to get through, the warning pips had stopped before I realized I had to insert a coin.

When I was at last able to speak, I was told that the person whom I urgently wanted to give a message to had just that minute gone out.

Swearing slightly under my breath, I emerged from the box and came face to face with the little man, who was looking as pathetic as a stray dog. As he raised his hat again, I could see he was quite bald. A thin line, resembling a duelling scar, crossed one cheek. He spoke nervously. “Excuse my troubling you again,” he said. “May I walk along with you a little way? I must confide in someone. I need help desperately.”

续写部分:I had to admit that his eccentric action had reduced me to a state of confusion and I felt being pestered even exasperated by him unconsciously. In response to him, I just pretended to be oblivious by keeping a poker face and walk onwards all the way. However, he showed no intention of giving up following me and at the very moment, I was rather startling and astonished by his desperate and pathetic posure when I shed a glance at him accidentally.

After my patience and tolerance was exhausted, I turned around to him," What the hell are you gonna to do? Why are you keeping following me all the way?" I shouted in rage and fury without any sympathy to the little bald man right in front of me.

He stopped his pace in a sudden way and it seemed that I was so deterrent that he

hardly dared to raise his head to look me in the eyes squarely. Then he uttered several words in a low volume which I could only hear vaguely though I did try my best to do so. But in accordance with some of my self-judgment, I can roughly understand what he meant. He answered in a low-spirit tongue again while realizing something of my puzzles," Buddy, I mean you no harm. I'd just like to find someone trustworthy for my storytelling. It has been torturing me both physically and spiritually for a long time, which seems to be centuries."

After hearing this confession, my heart was still inundated with confusion: Why would he choose me? What’s his long story about? Why would he be bald like this and how did he get a scar of this sort and size? While I was still hesitant to ask any of these questions which haunted me and were preoccupied with my heart and mind. In order to know about some facts, eventually, I summoned up my courage to open my mouth," Many people pass by here now and then, why must you pick out me to be your listener?"

He kept silence for seconds with the surroundings being pletely muted but at this time, he raised his hat and stared at me in his firm demeanor:" Because I know you are an expert in psychology and I'd like you to offer me some constructive suggestions to my desperate life." Right at this moment, I put down my mental defense to him for I got to know that he must be for want of my help and instructions." So, just tell me about your story and I'll see what I can do to help you out." I reacted with a relieved smile and decided to save him from suffering out of the responsibility of a psychological doctor. I led him to a grass land nearby where a bench was set primarily:" You must be wondering why I'm bald and how I got the scar on my face, right?" I felt like being disclosed and transparent before him but I did my utmost to disguise and keep poised." If you don't mind telling me the reasons, I'll be willing to know."

He took off his hat as if he began to trust me progressively." I had been diagnosed to get the terminal brain cancer early this year and the doctor informed me to be well-prepared for the worst result that I might be leaving the world in the middle of the year. So my survival time is quite limited now. Before I got to know the bad news, I thought my life will be filled with wonder and miracles. I thought I will lead a remarkable life just as some well-known somebody. Nevertheless, all of these thoughts had turned to be the castle in the air. My hair began to lose progressively because of the side effect of the chemical treatment received in hospital and my attitude toward my remaining life has swerved and I became much more easily anxious and resorted to violence. Sometimes, I made a plaint about the unfairness

of fate and condemned of the illness being pestered me, which led me to self-maltreatment. See? The scar was left by my impulsion once I couldn’t control myself when being tortured by the hurting ache and my meaningless life of inaction but to wait for the day.”

I felt a lump in my throat after hearing these facts, but I’m still doubtful about his intention of borrowing a match. “So why would you like to ask for a match? You feel like smoking right now? I bet that you must have known that smoking can’t do any good to you.” He chuckled and shook his head constantly, with his eyes being teary and I can well sense that his voice is choking with sobs. "Absolutely not, I think if I had a match, I could see the light of a little bit hope by striking it. And if there is hope for me to live on, I can get to know the meaning of my life left. You know, I was surrounded by the cold walls all day round and people around me are hopeless to go on their life because they cannot even know whether they can see the sunrise on the next day or not. What I can hear is their sigh and pessimistic plaint, which made me fairly annoyed. I used to be an ambitious man with my own dream of being a renowned person in the real estate industry and I was once ascertained that I can well live up to my own expectations and that of people who care about me. But the disease was just like a demon and it rightly fell upon me all of a sudden, far from what I could predict. Right now, I had no alternatives but to live through the nightmare and reluctantly accept the joke that God had played with me…… Sorry for occupying you so much time. I’d better leave and go back to the hospital before being spotted.”

I was deeply indulged in the meditation of his moving but hopeless narration and after I came back to myself again, the bald little has already disappeared without being able to be traced…

篇三:《写作练习:《小木偶的故事》续写》

《小木偶的故事》续写

自从蓝鼻子小女巫将人类所有的表情送给了小木偶以后,小木偶就会哭,会笑,会生气,会着急,也会向别人表示同情和关心了。

有一天,他正在大街上到处游荡,准备找小红狐要回红背包时,突然发现在路边的一棵大树旁有只小兔子正蹲在地上哭泣,小木偶飞快地跑过去一看,原来就是那只问过他怎么样的小兔子,他关心的问小兔子:“小兔子,你怎么了?”“今天是我妈妈的生日,我准备送给她一束鲜花,可带着花走到半路时,被小红狐给抢走了,我追不上他,只好蹲在这里哭。”小兔子说。小木偶听了,非常生气,他对小兔子说:“我一定会为你讨回公道的。”说完继续往前走,就在这时,他看到了他的冤家——小红狐,小红狐正在大街上大摇大摆地走着,他三步并作两步地跑到小红狐的背后,一把抓住小红狐毛茸茸的大尾巴说:“看你往哪里逃?快把我的红背包还给我,还有小兔子的花。”

小红狐见是小木偶,想要逃跑,可他的大尾巴被小木偶抓得紧紧的,怎么也甩不掉小木偶,小红狐只好用他的手机拨打了“110”。几分钟后,熊警官开着他的警车赶来了,他一见到小木偶就说:“你就是上次抢小红狐的红背包的小木偶吧!这次又想抢小红狐的什么东西?”小木偶带着委屈的表情说:“熊警官,上次是你错怪我了,那是我的红背包,因为我的主人——老木匠只送给我了一种表情,那就是笑,所以,我没有办法让你相信那是我的红背包。” 熊警官说:“噢!原来是这样。不过,这只是你的一面之词,并不能说明你的话就是真的,我们还是一起问问小红狐吧。”说完就转过身来找小红狐。谁知小红狐听了小木偶向熊警官做的解释了后,心里非常害怕,因为他心里明白的确是他欺骗了熊警官,见小木偶已经松开了自己的尾巴,就趁熊警官和小木偶说话的时候逃跑了。为了弄清事情的真相,熊警官开着警车去追小红狐。可小红狐一看熊警官追来了,以为事情已经败露了,熊警官是来抓他进监狱的。眼看就被熊警官追上

了,小红狐绝望地大叫:“别抓我,我再也不敢了。红背包和花我都还给你们。别把我关进监狱!”熊警官这时终于明白了,是他错怪了小木偶。

在外漂泊了几个月后,小木偶想念老木匠了,准备回家去看看老木匠,可他没有钱给老木匠买礼物。小木偶正在发愁时,蓝鼻子小女巫又赶来了,她对小木偶说:“我来帮你。”说完把手中的魔杖一挥,在小木偶的眼前出现了一幢金子做成的房子,小木偶轻轻地推开房门,惊奇地发现老木匠正坐在银子质成的摇椅上专心地看报纸呢。小木偶一见自己的主人,几个月酸甜苦辣的经历顿时涌现在了脑海里,他兴奋地扑进了老木匠的怀里。老木匠看到小木偶以后,奇怪地问:“我只给了你笑,你现在怎么会哭了呢?”小木偶就把这几个月发生在自己身上的事逐一讲给老木匠听。老木匠终于明白了笑是很重要的,但要是只会笑,那还是远远不够的。

在生活中,笑是很重要的,是非常美好的,谁要是不会笑,它就无法知道什么是快

乐。在生活中,除了高兴的事之外,还有一些伤心的事。不同的事情会引起我们不同的表情,我们要用我们的真情去体验生活,感受生活的乐趣。

篇四:《续写故事》

第四讲 续写

美文欣赏:

乌鸦与狐狸续写

自从上次狐狸把乌鸦嘴里的肉骗到手后,他觉得自己真是太聪明

了,于是他整天都在外面骗吃骗喝,还学会了各种动物的叫声。猫叫,狗叫,鸟叫......学得真是惟妙惟肖。小动物都不愿意和他玩,大家给狐狸取了一个绰号“骗吃大王”。

这天乌鸦在路边发现了一块病死猪肉,心想:是谁把它扔在这

儿的呢?如果让一些不知情的小动物给吃了,非被毒死不可。该怎么办呢?于是他叼起那块肉,飞到树枝上聚精会神地想怎样去处理这块肉。恰巧,狐狸出来溜达,看见乌鸦叼着肉一动不动地站在树上。心想:我一定要把这块肉骗到手。狐狸猛地学了一声狗叫,“汪汪”。乌鸦吓了一大跳,嘴一松,那块肉就像流星一样落了下来,狐狸张口就接着了,边吃边说:“哼,笨老鸦,你可真蠢,又上当了,哈哈哈哈。”乌鸦说:“你吃的是块病肉!”“不可能!你想骗我。”狐狸翻着眼睛说。话刚说完,狐狸肚子里就像有几百条小虫子在咬,疼得他在地上滚来滚去。幸亏象医生来的及时,狐狸的命才保住。

从此以后,狐狸再也不骗吃骗喝了,和小动物们成了好朋友。

1、乌鸦: ;狐狸: 。

(善良、狡猾、好吃懒做、老实、多疑、聪明、迟钝)

2、可不可以把乌鸦和狐狸的角色调换过来,为什

么? 。 (在原文中画一画){小铁锤的故事续写}.

细细品味

好词好句积累;

插上童话的翅膀

拥有翅膀, , ;

失去了破皮鞋, ;

偷梦的妖精, ;

面包房里的 ,稀奇古怪的国王已经迷失

了方向…… !{小铁锤的故事续写}.

名人名言

1、{小铁锤的故事续写}.

2、

3、 4、 5、

6、

好词积累:

运用拟人的手法,使故事生动、合理。

为了使所写的童话更具体、有条理,还要围绕已确定的中心去展

开动物的思维、语言、行为和活动。也就是把每个动物的活动情况有

机地结合起来,恰当地运用好拟人手法,赋予动物人格化,把它们之

间发生的故事策划得更周密、细致,但不能胡编乱造,编写童话要合

乎逻辑、合情合理。编写动物童话,必须体现动物本身的真实性,这

样才能让读者感到真实、亲切。

续写童话要注意:

1、

2、

小试牛刀:

续写童话

海边的大森林里住着猴妈妈一家人。猴妈妈有三个孩子。老大叫猴听话,

老实本分;老二叫猴机灵,很爱动脑筋;老三是个女孩,叫猴美丽,长得很漂

亮。有一天,猴妈妈把三个孩子叫到跟前,给了每人100元钱,叫它们离开

家去独立生活,看谁能过上富足的日子。

要求同学们展开想象把这个故事扩写具体,题目自拟。

篇五:《第五单元习作 续写》

人教版小学语文六年级上册第五单元作文

续写《小木船》

习作要求

我和陈明是好朋友。一天,我们把在手工小组做的小木船拿出来玩,陈明一不小心把我的摔坏了。争执中,陈明又把它踩坏了,我非常生气,一把夺过他的小木船??{小铁锤的故事续写}.

以上这段话只讲了故事的开头,没有详细地讲述事情后来怎样了,结果又是怎样的。请你根据自己的想象,把事情的经过和结果写清楚、写具体。

审题:确立主题:

1. 从课文所给的开头来看,这是一篇写事的记叙文,也叫续写。续写就是根据原文的内

容接着往下写。

2. 文章主要写我和陈明之间的事,因此题目可以确定为“小木船”“一份修补好的友谊”,

习作目标:

习作重点:

根据开头进行合理想象,编出完整的故事。{小铁锤的故事续写}.

习作难点:将故事内容写具体,表达真情实感。{小铁锤的故事续写}.

放飞思绪

现在,让自己的思绪跟随下面的思维导图飞起来吧!

1.同学们,小木船被踩坏后,事情结果会怎样呢?可能令人感到气愤、开心、难过、后

悔,也可以让人得到启发??

2.为什么会导致这样的结果呢?事情的经过到底怎样了?(我和陈明各自的表现怎样?感受如何?)

习作指导

(一)布局谋篇

1.理清思路是写好故事的前提。我们可以梳理一下整个故事的来龙去脉,按事情发展的顺序写一写关键步骤,用小标题表示: 1. 亲密无间——友情破裂——重归于好 2. 亲密无间——友情破裂——留下遗憾

(1)亲密无间→友情破裂→重归于好

亲密无间:直接把故事的开头抄下来。

友情破裂:这里是文章的重点段落,要具体地来叙述。 重归于好:这里是文章的结尾,呼应开头,并写出你的感受。 (2)亲密无间→友情破裂→留下遗憾

留下遗憾:这是文章的另一种结尾,并写出你的感受。 ??

开头结尾 (二)

1.开头:直接把开头写下来。

我和陈明是好朋友。一天,我们把在手工小组做的小木船拿出来玩,陈明一不小心把我的摔坏了。争执中,陈明又把它踩坏了,我非常生气,一把夺过他的小木船?? 2.结尾:

陈明跟着爸爸妈妈搬到外地去了。那天以后,我们俩再也没有见过面。我把他送给我的小木船藏在抽屉里。一看见这只精致的小木船,我就好像看见陈明站在我的面前。(首尾呼应,尤其是结尾的一句话,既点了题目,又突出了友谊之深。)

(三)语言积累

要把文章写生动,一定要有精彩的语言,让我们一起积累吧!

1.描写神态的成语:

大喜过望 心平气和 平心静气 暴跳如雷 心有余悸 惊魂未定 心安理得 心如刀割 心如死灰 心旷神怡 心乱如麻 心胆俱裂 心神不定 心神恍惚 心悦诚服 不屑一顾. 大模大样 目中无人 旁若无人 盛气凌人 恃才傲物 忘其所以 忘乎所以 扬长而去 大摇大摆 咄咄逼人

2.描写心理的词语:

胆战心惊 魂飞魄散 惊心动魄 心惊肉跳 心惊胆寒 欣喜若狂 心花怒放 忐忑不安 心慌意乱 心乱如麻 七上八下 大发雷霆 火冒三丈 怒火中烧 怒气冲天 心急如焚

(四)细节描写

要把文章写得具体生动,还要有细节描写。细节描写能把人物的性格、品质刻画得淋漓尽致。你打算用 、

、 、 等描写方法,下面的可以借鉴。

心理活 动描写 1.

心理描写是用来揭示人物在特定环境中的内心活动,如感觉、知觉、情感、体验、愿望等的。只要大家用心地去揣摩,久而久之,同学们一定能把心里最真实的感受写出来。

例1:我目瞪口呆,完全没有了反应,只觉得四周空荡荡的,寒风像无情的箭,扎进我的心窝里。很无奈,只好平静好自己的心绪,硬着头皮回忆书本上的一页页文字,希望老天保佑,让我灵光一现,把该要的内容给背出来。(点评:小作者用比喻的修辞手法把自己的痛苦、无奈的心情描写得很细致。)

2.神态、语言混合描写:

有一次,我背着马草四处找买主,经过书摊时,坐在轮椅上的他叫住了我:“怎么不来看书了?”我抖抖手里的马草,无奈的摇摇头。

他先是一愣,继而眼睛一亮,笑着对我说:“过来,让我看看你的马草。”他认真地看过马草后,冲里屋叫道:“碧云,你出来一下!”

闻声走出一个姑娘,可能是他的妹妹吧。

“碧云,咱家的那匹马正确马草,收下这孩子的马草。”他盯着姑娘茫然的眼睛,命令到,“听见没有?快把马草提进去!”

——(《别饿坏了那匹马》人教版第十一册)

【点评】具体描述了守书摊青年灵机一动,想了一个绝妙的办法,让“我”用马草作交换来阅读书籍,使“我”消除内疚心理。通过对他的神态、语言进行细致入微的描写,将他宽厚、善良的品质生动地刻画了出来,文字间也融入了“我”无限的感激之情

(四)范文引路

阅读下面的范文,看看作者是怎样布局谋篇的,主要运用了哪些细节描写或表现手法,并在范文旁边做批注。

友谊之舟

我和陈明是好朋友。一天,我们把在手工小组做的小木船拿出来玩,陈明不小心把我的小木船摔坏了。争执中又把它踩坏了,我非常生气,一把夺过他的小木船,狠狠地向地上砸去,两艘小木船都在地上开了花。看着被我摔坏的小木船,陈明也气得说不出话来。

这时,班长过来批评了我,我怒发冲冠,狠狠地推了她一下,“你算什么东西,狗拿耗子——多管闲事!”我大声的吼道。谁知刚好被老师看见了,于是我被揪到了老师的办公室,老师还打了电话给家长。我的心里燃起了满腔怒火:这多怪你陈明,这一切,都是你害的,我跟你没完??